Conscious Uncoupling: How to End a Relationship with Grace and Respect
As a psychotherapist for about 7 years now, I’ve had the profound privilege of helping many couples move from conflict, anger, and pain and toward deeper, more conscious intimacy. But it doesn’t always go this way.
Indeed, sometimes couples realize in the course of our work together that their relationship, for whatever reason, needs to end. Many partners view the end of the relationship as a personal failure, blaming themselves. Others wallow in anger and resentment, sometimes lashing out in destructive ways.
Tragically, in these instances the circumstances that bring about the end of the relationship can have the power to redefine a couple’s entire story together. This is especially true with cases of sex addiction, porn addiction, infidelity, or some other form of intimate betrayal. Partners carry with them the pain, loss, heartache, and anger about the relationship long after it ends and can even carry it over into their next one.
It doesn’t have to be this way. There’s another path. That’s where Conscious Uncoupling, a method pioneered by psychotherapist Katherine Woodward Thomas, comes in.
Should he have any contact with the affair partner now that the affair is over? Shouldn’t she cut her affair partner out of his life and stop talking to him altogether? How can I get him to stop talking to her?
By all appearances, Gary (who’s not real, by the way) is a successful businessman, a loving father and husband, even an elder at his church. He is respected in his social circles, esteemed in his business, and loved by his family.
Maybe 
“Should I stay or should I go?” It’s a question that many partners ask themselves after the discovery of infidelity in a relationship.
As the field of sexual addiction and pornography addiction grows, so too does its literature. It can be a little overwhelming to find trusted resources and books for sex and porn addicts and addiction that might be helpful in your recovery journey, especially if you’re just starting out.