The Guide to Empathy for Sex Addicts (Part I)

Sex addiction therapists will, if asked, most likely tell you that sex addiction is an intimacy disorder, but what does this mean?

 

Rob Weiss, LCSW, CSAT-S, author and renowned sex addiction practitioner and expert, puts it this way: “Sex addicts typically struggle with underlying emotional or psychological problems often stemming from early life abuse such as physical or sexual trauma or emotional neglect. . . . “[Sex addiction] is in essence a symptom of underlying profound adult challenges with intimacy and attachment, stemming from both genetic and environmental sources.”*

 

If you’ve struggle with sexual addiction and or sexually compulsive behaviors, creating and participating in meaningfully intimate relationships probably isn’t easy for you.

3 Things Your Therapist Must Do in Couples Therapy

I recently submitted my first response to Help a Reporter Out (HARO). If you don’t know what HARO is, it’s a subscription service that connects inquiring journalists doing research for stories to experts hungry to provide them with a few good quotes (and get some publicity in the process).

 

Now, chances are I’m not going to get picked because these reporters get a lot of responses. So in the offchance I don’t get instantly famous, I thought I’d share my thoughts with you. Here’s the response in its entirety.

Creating Magic in Your Relationship, Part 3: The Magic of Surprise

We began considering how to create more magic in intimate relationships by looking at the rhythm that’s created in relationships when two partners are managing their feelings together. Next, we talked about what happens when that rhythm gets disrupted and how to repair these unavoidable disruptions. Today, I invite you to think about with me how surprise can pave a path toward greater intimacy with your partner. What do I mean when I say “surprise,” though? Before we go there, we need to talk about what every relationship needs—romance.

Creating Magic in Your Relationship, Part 2: Repairing Disruptions in the Rhythm

Last time, with a little help from Coldplay, we explored the “magic” that can occur between partners in a committed relationship when they feel close and intimately connected with one another. When both partners really “get” each other, even though the couple may be having a difficult conversation, each one feels known, valued, recognized, and understood. When they’re in their rhythm, each partner feels completely safe, so much so that together they can co-manage even the most difficult feelings that inevitably come up in a long-term relationship.

Creating Magic in Your Relationship, Part 1: Your Relationship’s Rhythm

At long last, Coldplay released their new single “Magic” earlier this month, and as a longtime fan, I’ve been listening to the soulful, intimate tune a lot in recent weeks. The song takes its name from the “magic” that the singer experiences when he’s with his beloved partner. Even if you’re not a Coldplay fan, chances are you’ve felt the magic that happens when you’re really connected to another person, when you feel known and understood, recognized and cherished. As much as we want this magic, though, it’s not as easy as pulling a rabbit out of a hat. So how does it happen?

Protective Patterns in Couple Relationships, Part 3: The Angry Couple

It was my first session with Lauren and Jim (not their real names), and from the moment I welcomed them, they were hell-bent on continuing the argument that had begun on the way to my office. They angrily interrupted, talked over, and screamed at each other. The couple had come to therapy because they were fighting like this so frequently, but here in my office, they were far from interested in anything I had to say.

 

For couples like Lauren and Jim, anger and the accompanying escalating conflict is a way of life.