What to Do When Therapy Gets Hard

when therapy gets hardSo you’ve started therapy, and it’s actually going pretty well. Maybe you’ve been going for just a couple of months or a few years. You’re working well with your therapist feel you’re making good progress. The counseling seems to be helping. Things are humming along.

 

Then, whether gradually over time or all of the sudden, there’s a shift. Life gets really hard. Almost unbearable. And so does therapy.

 

Wait a minute. Weren’t things supposed to get better? Why now is the terde hitting the ventilateur?

 

It’s important to understand that I’m speaking in generalities here, and painting with broad strokes.

 

But often there’s a really good reason why therapy gets hard. It means you’re doing the work. Here’s what I mean.

The Hidden Danger to Sex Addiction Recovery: Addiction Interaction

A few months ago in my last post, we saw that addicts will unconsciously gravitate toward their substances or compulsive behaviors of choice as a way to manage their emotional pain.

 

Everyone’s emotional pain is different, and people seek out substances or behaviors that will alter their states of mind in just the way they’re looking for.

 

The Big Danger Christian Sex Addicts in Recovery Need to Watch Out For

Let me tell you a story about a man named Joe.

 

(Joe isn’t a real person. I made him up so I could tell you this entirely fictional story about him. But in a way, Joe is real enough, as you’ll see in a moment.)

 

Joe seems like a normal guy. He’s well-liked by his coworkers. He loves his wife and children. He hosts backyard barbecues in the summer on weekends for friends and family. His faith is important to him and he’s a respected leader in his church.

 

By all appearances, he’s an outstanding guy.

 

But Joe has a secret.

3 Things Your Therapist Must Do in Couples Therapy

I recently submitted my first response to Help a Reporter Out (HARO). If you don’t know what HARO is, it’s a subscription service that connects inquiring journalists doing research for stories to experts hungry to provide them with a few good quotes (and get some publicity in the process).

 

Now, chances are I’m not going to get picked because these reporters get a lot of responses. So in the offchance I don’t get instantly famous, I thought I’d share my thoughts with you. Here’s the response in its entirety.

Counseling After Infidelity: Cultivating Healing, Finding Hope

What is an affair? Must an affair involve sexual intercourse? What about a kiss? What about pornography? While almost everyone would feel betrayed if a partner had sexual intercourse with a third person, other amorous, intimate behaviors can be equally destructive—dinner with an old girlfriend, for instance, or flirting in online chat rooms. All of these behaviors may constitute a betrayal of trust. An affair is a violation of trust that destroys the fundamental beliefs that the hurt partner had about the unfaithful spouse and the relationship.

An Open Invitation

A few weeks ago, Peter Jackson’s “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey,” the director’s latest cinematic venture into Middle Earth, was released into theaters nationwide. The film begins the story of the adventures and travels of Bilbo Baggins. Readers of JRR Tolkien’s book The Hobbit will remember that Bilbo is a hobbit who loved the comforts of home; indeed, he was, in Tolkien’s words, one who never “had any adventures or did anything unexpected.”

Our Feelings and Freud

I was recently joking around with one of my friends who knows that I’m a therapist intern. As we were exchanging wisecracks about I’ve-forgotten-what, he smiled and offered in jest a self-deprecating barb about one of his unique character traits: “Does that go back to my childhood?” In the moment, of course, I simply played along, but his comment lingered in my mind long after our verbal horseplay was over.

 

On Finding Counseling in Pasadena

Therapy can increase self-awareness and strengthen emotional life while creating new ways of being in meaningful relationships. If you are trying to choose the therapist that is right for you, you probably believe that therapy can do this too. Therapy can be a life-changing experience, but finding a therapist that you trust is essential.