Being True to Yourself
Being True to Yourself regardless of the social pressure.
As per the American Psychological Association Definition, ‘’social pressure’’ is the exertion of influence on a person or group by another person or group. Like group pressure, social pressure includes rational argument and persuasion (informational influence), calls for conformity (normative influence), and direct forms of influence, such as demands, threats, or personal attacks on the one hand and promises of rewards or social approval on the other (interpersonal influence).
In other terms or ways to see if for me is that social pressure can be defined as an influence. More precisely, it tends to make us do something without resorting to any physical force or without telling us what to do.
Influences can come as much from the media, work environment or simply from our family or group of friends around us.In the vast majority of cases, the influence is transmitted in the form of a request, a suggestion, a comment or could be just ‘’that look’’. These influences can be direct pressures because they are directly intended for us. On the other hand, there are also indirect pressures which also influence us without even knowing it.
For example, when we are at a party and everyone is drinking alcohol, we are influenced to drink alcohol as well even if no one asks us to do so, because we want to be part of the group. We can also call this form of pressure hidden pressures.
These influences exert greater or lesser pressure on each of us. They make us react differently depending on who we are and who makes us feel them. For example, it's harder to refuse the same request depending on whether it's made by someone we admire or someone we don't know.
From another point of view, social pressure can be, depending on the situation, as much positive as negative: For example, both sides of my family were so proud of me for this new employment and acknowledging all my efforts during a dinner party. This could be a positive pressure, however, it can turn out really quickly into a negative pressure when they ask, ‘’so when will I have grandchildren, nieces/nephews, now!?’’
You know, the thirties, the employment, the house, the wedding, but don’t forget you aren’t done and fully successful until you have children.
Getting repeated:
‘’ You know your reproducing system has a time clock’’;
‘’You know you will be more tired later as you get older if you wait’’;
‘’They will have no friends or family members to play since they will have a too big age gap’’;
‘’They are going to be so cute’;
‘’You are never going to fully ready to have children, so might as well have them now’’
All of these comments might be read as nothing, like they are ‘’joking around’’, but deep down, repeatedly, it really has a way to create this pressure inside myself.
I’m thinking first of all, that it’s a good thing I want a child if not what? Also, what if I encounter fertility problems? Will I still be accepted in my own circle of family and friends if I didn’t have a child? I’m just getting out of debts, finally, is this what I am supposed to be, a mother and let that career on the side for a while?
These little teasing, simple sentences quickly result in social pressure which for me inevitably turns into stress, anxiety, self-doubt and more weight on my shoulders as a female adult.
This is why it is very important for me to focus on myself, my beliefs, my emotions, my experiences and to put aside the ideas of other success or the idea of the life that is supposed to be lived. Who are the others to rate, justify, quantify, measure and rate life’s happiness, steps and success ?
At any given moment or place, don’t be scared to just pause, leave, breathe for a minute, trust yourself in the learning process of what’s right or wrong or not applicable for you. Embrace the changes and experiences and most importantly, remember that you are unique and deserve to be your true self, that’s the biggest justice you can give yourself.
About The Author
Lethia is the Client Care Specialist for the Center for Integrative Change. She completed her Bachelor Degree in Social Work at the University of Quebec, in Canada. Her primary passions are families and the well-being of the community, but no matter who she is working with she always strive to meet each person with compassion and full attention.