What Is Your "Why" For Recovery?
What Is Your “Why” For Recovery?
People start a process of recovery or begin therapy for a variety of reasons. More importantly however, are the reasons one chooses to stay in treatment and to continue receiving help. Perhaps you got caught with a secret and your loved ones are urging you to get help. Or, you realize you are not living the life you desire and are just feeling empty. Maybe you are entering recovery because you hit rock bottom and the only way is up. Whatever the reasons you entered this process are, let’s examine “why” you are staying, and how that can help you in the long run.
Initial Motives
It’s not always a bad thing if you entered recovery or therapy because someone pushed you to, or you made the choice to make things feel better for the moment. What is more key though, is why you decide to continue doing the work you need to heal. If you are doing it for someone else, or just to feel better in the moment, what happens when you no longer have that person’s praise for doing the work you need? Or, what happens when you find that your struggle resurfaces and you feel tempted to return? Odds are, your drive will fizzle out because it was powered by external motivation (e.g., doing it for others), or a drive just to feel better for the moment. Instead, you want to find the intrinsic motivation (e.g., doing it for yourself and your own growth) that will keep you in it for the long haul.
Why Do You Want This?
Again, while starting recovery for someone else or desiring to feel better immediately is not a bad start, it ultimately must be done because you want it for yourself. Considering the person that you want to become can be helpful because it can give you vision and purpose for your life. A lot of people live life aimlessly without having a target they desire to hit. Through allowing yourself to focus on who you want to be, you may find yourself getting closer to that target, thus encouraging you and giving you that internal motivation to keep going. Also, as you focus on your own growth, your loved ones will likely see that and may even be encouraged by your determination.
Entering the process of recovery is not an easy step, but if you are ready for things to change, it is a necessary step. You never have to do this alone however, so please consider getting yourself into therapy, or even a 12-step group or a therapy group.
Here are some links to help you get started in finding some 12-step meetings:
If you need help with the next step, whether that is individual therapy or a therapy group, a therapist at the Center for Integrative Change can help!
About the Author
Alex Primo is a licensed marriage and family therapist at the Center for Integrative Change. With training in EMDR and additional training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, he finds great joy in helping men break out of the cycle of unwanted sexual behavior, and helping couples restore trust and intimacy. When he is not seeing clients, he enjoys playing board games with his family, learning magic tricks, and rooting for the Dodgers.
