MARRIAGE PROBLEMS & DEALING WITH AN AFFAIR | COUPLES COUNSELING IN VENTURA & LOS ANGELES COUNTY
Change the searing heartache of betrayal into a new chapter in your relationship.
Just found out?
Discovering that the person you love most in the world has been unfaithful to you is devastating. In an instant, your entire world crumbled; everything you thought was true in your relationship, and your life was little more than an illusion.
In the moment of discovery, you were probably flooded with thoughts:
“How long has this been going on?”
“Is my relationship over?”
“How could I have missed this?
“How could my partner do this to me?”
“How can I ever trust this person again?”
“Do I even want to rebuild this?”
In the wake of the discovery, you’re feeling a flood of emotions, too.
If you’re the betrayed partner, you’re probably feeling such intense pain, shock, anger, rage, sadness, confusion, and desperately alone. The one person you might have talked with when you needed comfort is no longer trustworthy.
The consequence of emotional or sexual betrayal in your relationship? Psychological Trauma.
Shock
Denial
Rage or anger
Feeling guilty, as though the affair is your fault
Preoccupied with partner’s behavior
Excessive vigilance—always being “on your guard”
Obsessed about the betrayal
Snooping or interrogating your partner
Feeling numb
Confusion or conflicting feelings
Difficulty concentrating
Loss of productivity at work
Nightmares
Depression and anxiety
Insomnia
You’ve been hurt so deeply. At this point you’re understandably trying to gain some control over what’s happening and feel safe again.
What Happened to Us?
A sexual or emotional affair is a violation of the expectations and standards of a relationship by becoming emotionally or physically involved with someone else. Not all affairs are the same, however. One-night stands, affairs, serial affairs, emotional affairs, and long-term affairs each bring their own set of unique problems and often require different support when you’ve left your partner completely broken.
Helping you and your partner deal with the immediate crisis through infidelity therapy is the first step to healing. Next, we’ll help you make sense of why the affairs happen in a confidential, non-judgmental environment. We will listen carefully to your pain and help you understand, cope, and start the recovery process with the overwhelming feelings that you’re likely feeling right now.
Hope Is Possible
You don’t have to go through this alone. Being able to speak with someone knowledgeable about infidelity and affairs about your experiences is important to your healing process. Together in infidelity therapy, we’ll collaborate to establish boundaries and guidelines that will help you feel safe in your relationship again.
However you’re reacting to the pain of your partner’s infidelity, we’re not here to tell you what to do or how to feel towards your cheating partner during our infidelity counseling sessions—we’re here to support you in your decision about your relationship. In the meantime, our first priority is to help you understand what’s going on and how you’re feeling—so you can find ways to feel safe and have hope again.
Coping with Adultery – The Journey Toward Healing
Infidelity doesn’t need to end in divorce. Together, after restoring equilibrium to your relationship and dealing with the psychological trauma caused by it, we will help you understand why the affair happened so that your relationship can heal and be made stronger during infidelity therapy.
Affairs occur for reasons that partners know and for reasons they don’t. With the right help, affairs can call attention to problems that have silently poisoned the relationship for years outside of the awareness of both partners.
Understanding why the affair happened and what made your relationship vulnerable to infidelity is challenging but crucial to the rebuilding process. It’s said that two pieces of steel reforged into one are stronger than steel that has never been broken. For couples ready to do the work, the same can be true for relationships fractured by affairs.
I Need Help Overcoming an Affair—What Should I Do?
For couples in the throes of the discovery of an affair, starting infidelity counseling can be tough because you may feel embarrassed, humiliated, angry, and unsure of where to turn. Reaching out for help is nothing to be ashamed about and can lead to a lifetime of renewed emotional intimacy. We applaud your courage in seeking the support you need. Change isn’t easy, but it is possible.
Couples Therapy After Infidelity in Ventura That Works
Our CIC therapists have received specific training to help couples recover from intimate partner-betrayal trauma, especially the betrayal of sex and porn addiction. Together, we’ll help you discover healing and lasting change. While sex addiction and infidelity are often quite different clinically, they can overlap. Thus, our training is immediately applicable and helpful to couples affected by affairs.
We also have training in contemporary psychoanalysis in trauma, addiction, couple and family relationships, shame, and other areas critical to long-term healing and change.
After you have regained a sense of stability and control in your life, understanding unconscious patterns of being in a relationship and managing your feelings are paramount. You will learn to relate to and manage your feelings differently so that you can find healing that lasts.
The time to get help is now.
Infidelity counseling can be difficult to start, but we applaud your courage in seeking the support you need to begin the recovery process after having experienced significant betrayal. No matter what your circumstances may be, no matter how desperate your situation, change is possible.